Something no one tells you when your seemingly random collection of symptoms finally gets labeled “Lyme Disease” is of its uncanny ability to scramble your brain. On your better days, you function like an outdated computer: it does the trick but takes a while to get there. Most days you are Dory in Finding Nemo desperately trying to recall P. Sherman’s address.
I was born with a near-photographic memory. When I didn’t know an answer on a test, I could picture in my mind where the teacher wrote the information on the board or where I wrote it down in my trusty notebook and…boom. Easy A. That was before Lyme Disease. Much of what I knew up to that point remains, but remembering every day is quite different. I am great with schedules and routines but anything out of the ordinary requires notes and calendars then double-checking said notes and calendars. Otherwise, it results in my showing up at the wrong piano student’s house on makeup lesson day.
When my Lyme was at its worst, forget Finding Nemo and think more along the lines of 50 First Dates. You know, the one where guy meets girl then finds out girl suffers from short-term memory loss and forgets she knows him the next day? That would happen to me. I would forget people. Some new acquaintances, some I had known for years. People who knew me well were gracious and laughed it off. Others just looked puzzled. One lady I had known for years went on to glory, still not speaking to me for forgetting her name. Heaven will be a perfect storm for our reconciliation-her with the mind of Christ and me with, well…a mind.
As my disease progressed, so did the memory loss. I would ask the same questions repeatedly, forget whole days, and during a particularly difficult time, an entire month. As someone whose memory had played a significant part in her academic career, you can imagine my frustration. I felt like I wasn’t just losing my memory, I was losing myself.
As devastating as that was, there are times I forget something of far greater value: what God has already done. Often yesterday’s answered prayers feel surprisingly far away when a new worry shows up. Sound familiar?
In my article “Joy on the Bathroom Floor,” I spoke of how Israel spent forty years wandering the desert after leaving Egypt because of their finicky faith. They were a nomadic nation whose trust in God was as transient as their shelters were in the wilderness. But God had a promise to keep: to give them a permanent home. Their inheritance would not come without conflict. Canaan was already inhabited, and God was asking them to fight for it, ridding it of the idols and idol-worshippers God knew would lead them astray. They would face nations stronger and greater than they and yet, God expected Israel to be unafraid. How? Instead of dwelling on what was in front of them in their present, God urged them to look to their past.
In Deuteronomy 7:17-19 God says, “If you think, “These nations are more numerous than I—how can I dispossess them?” you must not fear them. You must carefully recall what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and all Egypt, the great judgments you saw, the signs and wonders, the strength and power by which he brought you out—thus the Lord your God will do to all the people you fear.”
God expected Israel to respond with faith rather than fear. These were the children who had witnessed Him bring hail, locusts, and three days of darkness to Egypt. Who had held their parents’ hands and watched God part the waters of the Red Sea so they could safely cross, leaving the chains of Egypt behind. They could be certain of their victory not because of their great abilities, but because of God’s established record.
Long before he was king, this was a truth David boldly demonstrated. In 1 Samuel 17, we are told for forty days, the Philistines had threatened Israel, sending their warrior Goliath into the Valley of Elah to taunt the sons of Abraham. We are told King Saul’s army and all of Israel were “upset and very afraid” (1 Samuel 17:11). No one would fight him! In that moment, it should not have been about who they were but whose they were. It took a shepherd boy to remind them of this.
1 Samuel 17:32-37 says, “David said to Saul, “Don’t let anyone be discouraged. Your servant will go and fight this Philistine!” But Saul replied to David, “You aren’t able to go against this Philistine and fight him. You’re just a boy! He has been a warrior from his youth.” David replied to Saul, “Your servant has been a shepherd for his father’s flock. Whenever a lion or bear would come and carry off a sheep from the flock, I would go out after it, strike it down, and rescue the sheep from its mouth. If it rose up against me, I would grab it by its jaw, strike it, and kill it. Your servant has struck down both the lion and the bear. This uncircumcised Philistine will be just like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God.” David went on to say, “The Lord who delivered me from the lion and the bear will also deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” Then Saul said to David, “Go! The Lord will be with you.”
Because God had given this shepherd victory over predators who had threatened his flock in the field, David was assured God would give him victory against this man who threatened the Lord’s flock in the valley. David, uncomfortable in Saul’s armor, goes out to battle Goliath with a staff and a sling, a shepherd boy bringing rocks to a sword fight. In 1 Samuel 17:45-47 David says to Goliath, “You are coming against me with sword and spear and javelin. But I am coming against you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel’s armies, whom you have defied! This very day the Lord will deliver you into my hand. I will strike you down and cut off your head. This day I will give the corpses of the Philistine army to the birds of the sky and the wild animals of the land. Then all the land will realize that Israel has a God, and all this assembly will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves! For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will deliver you into our hand.”
And deliver them He did. With one well-placed stone, David took down Goliath then Israel went on to defeat the Philistines. Not because of who they were but because of Whose they were. David remembered.
What would this look like in our lives? When we face our own giants, what can we remind ourselves of to be assured of victory?
- Remind yourself what God has done for you personally. Journal, write it down! When God does something in your life, when He answers a prayer, keep a record. Then whenever you cannot see a way to victory in your current circumstance, look back. See where God was faithful in your past and be assured, He will help you in your present.
- Get into God’s Word. Read of how God rescued and provided for Israel. Examine David’s struggles in the Psalms and how He constantly reminds himself of how “God’s love endures forever”. Write down verses that stick out. Let them remind you of God’s faithfulness yesterday so you can trust in His goodness now, even when it is hard to find.
When you cannot see it in the present, look back: that’s where the joy is. In the hardest days of my illness, all I had was humor, television, and my Bible. The humor kept me sane, the TV kept me occupied, but it was the Word of God that gave me joy. I am telling you right now: When the world shakes, the Word stands. My life was-and still is if I’m honest-uncertain. Looking back at where the Lord was faithful to His people in Scripture and remembering all the ways He has been faithful to me in my life, gives me assurance God can and will deliver me from my giants today.
When you face your own giants, do not face them with the forgetful cowardice of King Saul’s army but with the undaunted faith of the shepherd boy. The boy with a long memory of what God had done and the trust God will continue to work. When you cannot remember who you are, remember whose you are. We are told in Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!” That means the God who was with Israel, who was with David, is the same God who is with you. The One who pursues and rescues slaves, who fights for His people, who heals, tames storms, even raises the dead.
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Weather Changes. God’s Goodness Remains.
Tomorrow’s weather may be unknown, but with the Lord, your forecast can be joy.
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