When I left youth and children’s ministry, I could not have imagined loving something as much as I loved ministering to kids until I got inspired to combine my love of writing with my desire to help others through hard times. Immediately, I acquired a stack of writing books, bought a domain for a blog, and found a writers group to attend. During the first meeting, the facilitator read a sentence and gave us five minutes to write whatever came to mind. Hearing the prompt – “She gripped the edge of the porcelain sink and whispered, “one last time” – I was transported back in time.
I was on my bathroom floor years before, ill from yet another IV treatment. Lyme Disease had invaded my life eight years prior causing fluid around my heart, daily seizures, and so much pain I could not be touched. For more than a year, I had been too sick to go anywhere but to the doctor. My life felt like a waste, and I was ready to quit like a worn-out bootcamp recruit. It was then I heard God say, “this is your training ground.” God was using my struggles to teach me and none of it was wasted.
The teary eyes and support around the writers’ table to what I wrote about that bittersweet experience (I share it in today’s podcast!) confirmed writing as my new path. My suffering had taught me things about God I could never have known without it, and I was ready to introduce that God to others. That was over 8 years ago.
My plans were derailed when a freak car accident re-activated my disease and left my hands unable to text, let alone type. Once again, I was nearly homebound and right back on my bathroom floor. I remember wondering why God would give me a new purpose, then let my circumstances keep me from seeing it through. It made no sense! But when in history has God made sense at first?
In Numbers 13, Moses sends twelve spies to survey Canaan, the land God promised Israel after miraculously leading them from slavery. Despite having witnessed God’s many signs and wonders, all but two of the commissioned spies cowered at what they saw. Where most looked around and saw the giant men and fortified cities, Joshua and Caleb looked up and saw the God who would go before them. In Numbers 14:8 they say “…If the Lord delights in us, then he will bring us into this land and give it to us—a land that is flowing with milk and honey.” (NET) Their focus was not on the daunting obstacles but on the One they trusted to overcome them.
Despite Joshua and Caleb’s unwavering faith, Israel was penalized for the others’ lack of it. For forty years they wandered the desert until the generation who doubted God, save Joshua and Caleb, passed away. I wonder how Josua and Caleb must have felt when, like me, they were ready to plow ahead and serve their Commander, only to have their plans derailed. Were they ever resentful of their countrymen? Did they ever ask God why they had to suffer for the actions of others? Have you?
In hindsight, we see how God used Israel’s wandering years. The food he provided strengthened their bodies for battles to come. The law He gave set them apart as His treasured people and governed them as a nation. His otherworldly ways put His superior power on display. He made them ready. The desert was their training ground.
Once Joshua was made leader of Israel and given the divine order to march on the mighty city of Jericho, God wasn’t just with him, we are told in Joshua 6:2 God won the battle for him. I can only imagine Israel’s first reaction to God’s plan to defeat their formidable opponent. To circle the city walls with a bunch of horn-tooting priests leading the way must have seemed madness, but when they saw those seemingly impenetrable walls come tumbling down, they learned firsthand: no people, no fortress, no opponent stands against their God. He brought the invincible Jericho to its knees and can do the same to whatever insurmountable walls stand before you.
That’s where the joy is. It is in knowing the God for whom no wall is impenetrable goes before us. 2 Chronicles 20:17a says, “You will not fight in this battle. Take your positions, stand, and watch the Lord deliver you,” (NET);
While you’re wandering your own personal desert, waiting and praying for victory, don’t look around at the sandstorm, look up to the God who can conquer it. Only in Him will you find an unearthly joy not dependent on your ever-changing circumstances. Knowing God is with you, fighting for you, you can rest in the eye of your storm knowing He is fully able to turn your bleak outlook into something truly resplendent.
Weather Changes. God’s Goodness Remains.
Tomorrow’s weather may be unknown, but with the Lord, your forecast can be joy.